The Monty Python And The Holy Grail

I've decided to translate a conversation about “strange women distributing swords” from “The Monty Python and the Holy Grail” movie because of connection to the popular meme with Aragorn, where it was rephrased. This may seem to be a challenge because of political terms, but actually Nûrlâm's dictionary already had many suitable words.


I had to invent or derive the following words:

English Nûrlâm Etymology and comments
aloft târarz adverb from “târ” (high)
talarz adverb from “talûrz” (top)
anarchy shanardughurm lit. “without-leadership”
aquatic nînûrz adj. from LOS “nîn” (water) < Quenya “nén”, Westron “nîn”
autocracy îmbalurm lit. “self-power”
autonomous îmdurbûrz lit. “self-ruling”
bint nizdauk NL < “nizd” (girl, maiden) + suffix “-auk” for derogatory meaning
bosom pald NL < Noldorin “palath” < Primitive Elvish “palda” (flat surface) < Etym. “PAL” (wide open);
here meaning “surface” is implied, not “breast, chest”
(in the) case (of) ghung translated simply as “if”
ceremony dhak LOS
collective, commune shaukurm already in dictionary as “fellowship”
decision prudhurm NL “prudh-” (to decide) < Gnomish “pridu”
derive sir- NL, lit. “to flow”
dictatorship mogurm from TK “mog” (tyrant, oppressor)
difference sorghurm SV “sorgh-” (to split, divide);
while there are other words for “different” in Nûrlâm's dictionary, this makes more sense in this context
divine bâlûrz adj. < NL “bal” (divine power) < Sindarin “bal”, “bâl”
dogma samburm from NL “samb-” (to believe)
economic rarkurmûrz from NL “rark-” (to spare, save money)
emperor durbal TK CBS “durb-” (to rule, dominate) > “durbal” (emperor, high-king)
Excalibur Gurdgrishal lit. “hard-cleaver”, one of speculative Welsh etymologies (“caled” + “bwlch”)
executive krampûrz LOS “kramp-” (to do, make)
exploiting mogrug present participle from “mogr-” < TK “mog” (tyrant, oppressor) < PN “Gothmog” < Etym. “MBAW”
farcical dhîlautûrz NL “dhîl-” (to stuff, stopple) > “dhîlaut” (stuffing, compare with original French meaning of “farce”) > “dhîlautûrz”
giveaway traumurm abstract noun from LOS “traum-” (to show, reveal) < SV
government durburm NL < TK “durb-” (to rule, force, dominate, constrain, control)
(to) hang on hinb- NL < Quenya “him” (to adhere), “himba” (sticking, adhering) < Etym. “KHIM”
imperialist durburmuzgaukûrz TK CBS “durb-” (to rule, dominate) > “durburm” (domination, government) > “durburmuzg” (empire) > “durburmuzgauk” (imperialist, n.) > “durburmuzgaukûrz” (imperialist, adj.)
inferior dhunar comparative from “dhun” (low)
inherent hinbug present active participle from NL “hinb-” (to adhere, cleave to, stick to);
compare with Latin “in” + “haereo” (to stick in, cleave to, adhere to)
lob sorn- NL < SV “soranog-” (to throw); added to differentiate from “af-” (throw, cast)
mandate kazhurm NL, abstract noun from “kazh-” (to order, command)
masses hait NL, lit. “crowd, public” < TK CBS “hai”, Noldorin “hoth”
(to) object (to) bugb- was already in dictionary as “disagree, argue”
LOS, HG < SV “bugjab-” (to say against)
officer zurzal LOS “zûrz” (official)
outdated thukûbaga NL, lit. “over-aged” < “thu”, “kûb-”
peasant snaga TK BS “snaga” (slave)
(to) perpetuate goir- verb from NL adjective “goir” (eternal)
progress drûkhurm NL “dro-” (forward, pro-) + LOS “ukh-” (to go) + abstract noun suffix
providence drothakurm NL, “dro-” (forward, pro-) + “thak-” (to appear) + abstract nound suffix
purely foigarz NL “foig” (pure, clear) (adj.) < Qenya “poika”, Noldorin “puig” < Etym. “POY”
ratify thar- NL < ZB “thar” (fixed, appointed) (adj.) < Valarin “aþāra”
repress unudh- LOS (to detain)
mogr- NL (to oppress, exploit)
krusang- NL, lit. translation of “re-press” < Quenya “sanga”, Sindarin “thang”
pûgsh- NL (to subdue, subjugate)
scimitar naig NL < SV “nicaj” (saber) + NL “maig” (sword, blade) < Quenya “maica”
social shahaizûrz adj. from “society” (see below)
society shahai TK “sha” + TK “hai” (lit. “together-people”)
supreme talûrzaz superlative form of adjective from EL “tala” (above, over)
syndicalist gaidalûrz NL “gaid” (to join, unite, unify, rally) < LOS “gai” (chain) + Gnomish “gada” (to join) < Etym. “YAT”
> gaidal (syndicalist, n.) > gaidalûrz (syndicalist, adj.)
> gaidbrun (syndicate, lit. “united group”)
system mogshrinkhurm NL, merging “mogsh” (rule, law) with “srinkh-” (to gather, organize)
tart ghrupaukniz NL < “ghrup-” (to fornicate) < “ghru” (penis), “ghîr-” (to lust) < Neo-Quenya “hrupuhta” (to fornicate, lit. “to have evil sex”);
here translated just “whore” without slang terms incorporating cakes
(to) treat magd- NL < Quenya “mahta”, Sindarin “maetha” (to handle, wield, deal with, treat) < Etym. “MAGH” (hand), “MAG” (to use, handle), Primitive Elvish root “MAH” (to handle, manage, control, wield)
violence gorurm < TK AO, DBS “gor” (violent) < Etym. “GOR” (violence)
(to) vote gazd- (-ûr) lit. “to vow for”
gobh- lit. “to choose, elect”
omg- NL, calque from Russian “голосовать” < “omog” (voice) < rejected TK “mog”

The name “Dennis” was not translated, but transliterated as “Dînîs” (taking in account Greek origin of the name, related to god Dyonysos). “Arthur” wasn't changed at all.

“Bretons” were translated simply as “Tark” (Númenóreans, Gondorians).

“Samite” was translated with early Qenya word “samind” (silk), while in Herr Mannelig “silk” was translated as “Bhârnazb” (lit. “moth-web”).

The Translation

Character English Nûrlâm
King Arthur Old woman! Nizkû!
Dennis Man. Nor.
King Arthur Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? Nor, gont. Mash lûghoth kîbâ zîg goitor zîginal?
Dennis I'm 37. Dazûr krignuk agh udug
King Arthur What? Mash?
Dennis I'm 37. I'm not old. Dazûr krignuk agh udug. Da narkû.
King Arthur Well, I can't just call you “man”. Bhog, danarpâsh bugdam tug “nor”.
Dennis Well, you could say “Dennis”. Bhog, fipâshulg gashnut “Dînîs”.
King Arthur I didn't know you were called Dennis. Danarîstuz fibugdâkuz Dînîs.
Dennis Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? Bhog, finarmudhuz gimbut, mar?
King Arthur I did say sorry about the “old woman”, but from behind you looked… Dagashnuz gont gus nizkûm, ap it bo fithak…
Dennis What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior. Dabugb zamash fimagdiz ash si dhunar.
King Arthur Well, I am king. Bhog, dakul arn.
Dennis Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever gonna be any progress… Oh, arn, mar? Nîr sharz. Agh marz fisnabuz zîg, mar? Mogrug za bulal. Hinbug samburmu durburmuzgaukûrz thukûbaga amash goirâ za sorghurm rarkurmûrz agh shahaizûrz shahaizor dakob. Ghung kon drûkhurm kulguth milkon…
Peasant Woman Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here… Oh! How do you do? Dînîs! Mûd dugnîr kulâ dhu zin… Oh! Amarz fikramp?
King Arthur How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that? Amarz fikramp, dûrniz bhog? Dakul Arthur, arn Tark-haib.
Peasant Woman King of the who? Arn amai?
King Arthur The Britons. Za Tark-hai.
Peasant Woman Who're the “Britons”? Za “Tark-hai” kulû amai?
King Arthur Well, we all are. We're all Britons, and I am your king. Bhog, dakûk kul. Dakûk kul Tark-hai, agh dakul arngib.
Peasant Woman Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. Narîstuz dakbrusuz ash arn. Da ûsuz dak kuz ash shaukurm îmdurbûrz.
Dennis You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes… Fiprakhîm. Dak kîb ash mogurmor! Ash îmgoirug îmbalurm, amashor za bulûrz dhâr…
Peasant Woman Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again. Oh, fi ukh zîginu, thrakug dhâr zashi nokhar.
Dennis Well, that's what it's all about! If only people would– Bhog, zîg kul amash za ûk kul gus! Ghung tug hai kulg…
King Arthur Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? Dahas, dahas, haibhog, dakhig. Mash kîb zîg goitor?
Peasant Woman No one lives there. Narash kîb zîgin.
King Arthur Then who is your lord? Dai mash kul gib mâgz?
Peasant Woman We don't have a lord. Daknarbrus ash mâgz.
King Arthur What? Mash?
Dennis I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort of executive officer for the week… Dagashnuzam, dak ash shaukurm shanardugh-gaidalûrz. Dakokt narzharz zurzalsi krampûrz furn udârshum…
King Arthur Yes… Akh…
Dennis … but all decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting… … ap prudhurmûk zîg zurzal maug tharat ash hogor krularz-udârsharz sharzash…
King Arthur Yes, I see… Akh, dakin…
Dennis … by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs… ash marmulsirzi ghung bild nâdûrz foigarz…
King Arthur Be quiet! Kul ghil!
Dennis … but by a two thirds majority in the case of more… … ap krul krigûrz marmirzi ghung makar…
King Arthur Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! Kul ghil! Dakazham kulat ghil!
Peasant Woman “Order”, eh? Who does he think he is? “Kazh”, uh? Ta ûs takul mash?
King Arthur I am your king. Dakul arngib.
Peasant Woman Well, I didn't vote for you. Bhog, danaromguz fizûr.
King Arthur You don't vote for kings. Ginaromgok arnûr.
Peasant Woman Well, how'd you become king, then? Bhog, dai marz fithôluz arn?
King Arthur The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Dûrnizum Rinkumob, bazg nab pîlkaga samindumsha foigaz tindug, unruzâ talarz Gurdgrishal paldumbo nînob, tanug drothakurmirzi bâlûrz zamash da, Arthur, kuz kolat Gurdgrishal. Zîgûr dakul arngib.
Dennis Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Kazb. Nizrâz kâtug ainor sorkhug lag kulû nar bukh ash mogshrinkurmûr durburmob. Bal krampûrz talûrzaz sirâ ash kazhurmbo za haitbo, agh nar mûd dhak nînûrz dhîlautûrz.
King Arthur Be quiet! Kul ghil!
Dennis You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Finarpâsh darbut gazgat bal krampûrz talûrzaz tug taitaga mûd hrupaukniz nînsi afuzâ ash lag fizu!
King Arthur Shut up! Gukrîm!
Dennis I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! Da idr, ghung da ukhulg kurnarz gashnug dakul ash durbal tug zîgah zamash mûd mizgaga nizdauk sornuzâ ash naig dazu, tak gaithulgiz bo!
King Arthur Shut up! Will you shut up?! Gukrîm! Fimargukrubîm?
Dennis Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Ah, zil dak kin gorurm hinbug mogshrinkhurmishi!
King Arthur Shut up! Gukrîm!
Dennis Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Oh! Skât agh kin gorurm hinbug mogshrinkhurmishi!
King Arthur Bloody Peasant! Ghorûrz snaga!
Dennis Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you? Oh, amash traumurm! Fimarkozuz zîg? Fimarkozuz zîg, oh? Zîg kulâ gus amash dagashn! Fimarkin zamash takrusanguziz? Fikinuzan, mar?
translations/monty_python.txt · Last modified: 2023/09/07 19:38 by