1 (edited by Un4givenOrc 2020-04-26 17:36:16)

Topic: Tower Of Babel

Diego T. Guimarães (aka Ya'qūb 'Abd Al-Jabbār) made a translation of myth of Babel's Tower (Genesis 11: 1-9) based on the New King James Bible Version (1982) and posted it on Omniglot site.

Lug Bâbil-ob
1. Rad ghâmpûk brusuz lâm ash agh ghashnum ash.
2. Agh ghugshuz, mûlum-kusn ghânsh-ghâra, gimbuzut uzgok-ish uzg-or Shinâr, agh fulguzut tîg.
3. Zatal gashnuzut îmishuz, "Skât, gâkh-izgu largat korpaus-ishu agh mûzatul gakharz." Agh brusuzut korpaus-ish gund-ûr, agh sorum-ish brusuzut aurok-ûr.
4. Agh gashnuzut, "Skât, gâkh-izgu shatorat îmishuz goish, agh lug-ish amut talum-tab nût-ishi; gâkh-izgu largat bugud ash îmishu, nargâkh-izgu kul bûsnu thark-tala ghâmpûk."
5. Agh zâbruz Yahuah honat goish agh lug-ish amut shatoruzut lûku sharab.
6. Agh gashnuz Yahuah: "Narhusharz kulut hai ash agh kululûk lâm-ish ash, agh zamal kulat amash ashut krampat; zash narash kulubul narghugûrz, amash thrâgut krampat.
7. Skât, gâkh-Izgu zâbrat agh tîg girzat lâm-ulub, zash nargâkh zûrbat ghashnum îmulubu."
8. Agh bûsnuzul Yahuah tîg-ghâra thark-tala ghâmpûk-ob, agh puzguzut shatorat goish.
9. Zash ghugshuz kulat bugud-tab Bâbil, dhurz tîg girzuz Yahuah lâm-ish ghâmpûk-ob; agh tîg-ghâra bûsnuzul Yahuah thark-tala ghâmpûk-ob.

Here is the original English text:

1. Now the whole earth had one language and one speech.
2. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there.
3. Then they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar.
4. And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”
5. But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built.
6. And the LORD said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them.
7. Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.”
8. So the LORD scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they ceased building the city.
9. Therefore its name is called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth; and from there the LORD scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth.

I found idea of translating this myth funny because of diversity of Orcish dialects, when Orcs of different tribes cannot understand each other and brawl each other. Add the association between Babel's Tower and Barad-dûr (Lugbûrz).

I will analyze the translation in the comments with all little mistakes originally presented.

2 (edited by Un4givenOrc 2020-04-26 20:07:55)

Re: Tower Of Babel

Dictionary:
The vocabulary of Shadowlandian was enough to translate most of the text except the following words borrowed from other dialects:

  • busn- (SV) = to scatter (however adjective "scattered" is in LOS)

  • ghugsh- (SV) = to happen

  • korpaus (MERP) = brick (means "clay", "mud" in Svartiska)

  • zurb- (ZA) = to understand

and Bible-specific words:

  • Instead of the "Lord" his name "Jehovah" was used, transcribed into BS as "Yahuah"

  • Bâbil = Babel, Babylon

  • Shinâr = Shinar


General style:

  • 3rd person singular ending -at is not used, but 3rd person plural -ut is present

  • Infinitive with -at ending is used after modal verbs

  • Double negative in "narash kulubul narghugûrz"

  • Accusative ending -ish is explicitly used for every object

  • Preferable word order is VSO (Verb–Subject–Object) instead of typical SVO (Subject–Verb–Object)

The later two elements add archaic "flavour" to the text, which is nice!

Below I'll analyze every line of text in the manner:
Neo-Black-Speech translation
Literal translation with grammatical information
Backward English "artistical" translation

Grammatical abbreviations used in analysis:

  • 3PL – 3rd person plural

  • ACC – Accusative case

  • ADV – Adverb

  • FUT – Future tense

  • INF – Infinitive

  • PL – Plural

  • PST – Past tense

Case endings which are translated into English prepositions (like "-ob" = "of") are not abbreviated.
Errors are marked with different colors:

  • bright-red – omitted elements

  • dark-red – wrong elements

  • green – my replacements for wrong elements

3 (edited by Un4givenOrc 2020-04-26 18:16:08)

Re: Tower Of Babel

1. Rad ghâmpûk brusuz lâm-ish ash agh ghashnum-ish ash
Now earth-all have-PST language one and speech one
Now the whole earth had one language and one speech.

quite straightforward translation
Accusative endings for "lâm" and "ghashnum" omitted here.

4

Re: Tower Of Babel

2. Agh ghugshuz, mûlum-kusn ghânsh-ghâra, gimbuzut uzgok-ish uzg-or Shinâr, agh fulguzut tîg

And happen-PST journey-during East-from, find-PST-3PL plain-ACC land-at Shinâr, and dwell-PST-3PL there

And it happened, during the journey from the East, they found a plain at the land Shinâr, and they dwelt there

5 (edited by Un4givenOrc 2020-04-26 18:44:53)

Re: Tower Of Babel

3. Zatal gashnuzut îmishuz, "Skât, gâkh-izgu largat korpaus-ishu agh mûzatul gakharz." Agh brusuzut korpaus-ishu gund-ûr, agh sorum-ish brusuzut aurok-ûr.

Therefore say-PST-3PL self-to-PL, "Come, let-we make-INF brick-ACC-PL and bake-INF-them care-ADV." And have-PST-3PL brick-ACC-PL stone-for, and tar-ACC  have-PST-3PL mortar-for.

Therefore they said to themselves, "Come, let us make bricks and bake them carefully." And they had bricks for stone, and tar they had for mortar.

6 (edited by Un4givenOrc 2020-04-26 19:05:41)

Re: Tower Of Babel

Line 4 has the most of errors:
4. Agh gashnuzut, "Skât, gâkh-izgu shatorat îmishuz goish, agh lug-ish amut talum-tab nût-ishi; gâkh-izgu largat bugud-ish ash îmishûru, nargâkh-izgu kul bûsnu thark-tala ghâmpûkob."

And say-PST-3PL, "Come, let-we build-INF self-ACC-to-PL city-ACC, and tower-ACC which top-it's sky-in; let-we make-INF name-ACC one self-ACC-for-PL, not-let-we be scattered-PL face-over earth-all-of."

Corrected version:
Agh gashnuzut, "Skât, gâkh-izgu shatorat îmishuz goish, agh lug-ish talum-tab-sha nût-ishi; gâkh-izgu largat bugudish ash îmishûru, nargâkh-izgu kul bûsnu thark-tala ghâmpûkob."

And say-PST-3PL, "Come, let-we build-INF self-ACC-to-PL city-ACC, and tower-ACC top-it's-with sky-in; let-we make-INF name-ACC one self-ACC-for-PL, not-let-we be scattered-PL face-over earth-all-of."

And they said, "Come, let's build ourselves a city, and tower with it's top in the sky; let's make a name for ourselves, (we) don’t let us be scattered over the face of the whole earth."

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Re: Tower Of Babel

5. Agh zâbruz Yahuah honat goish agh lug-ish amut shatoruzut lûku shara-haib.

And descend-PST Yahuah see-INF city-ACC and tower-ACC which build-PST-3PL son-PL man-PL-of
(Nouns related to person should not take plural ending, and "son" belongs to them. But "men" in original Biblic text refers to human race, so collective ending -hai is recommended to add)

And descended Jehovah to see the city and the tower which sons of men had built.

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Re: Tower Of Babel

6. Agh gashnuz Yahuah: "Narhusharz kulut hai ash agh kululûk lâm-ish ash, agh zamal kulat amash ashut krampat; zash narash kulubul narghugûrz, amash-ob thrâgut krampat.

And say-PST Yahuah: "not-doubt-ADV be-3PL people one and be-them-all language-ACC one, and that be-3SG what begin-3PL do-3PL; therefore nothing be-FUT-them not-possible, what-of propose-3PL do-INF.

Colored "kulul" (be-them) should be either replaced with "brusut" (have-they) or replace following "lam-ish ash" with "lam-ob ash" (of one language)

Corrected version:
6. Agh gashnuz Yahuah: "Narhusharz kulut hai ash agh brusutûk lâm-ish ash, agh zamal kulat amash ashut krampat; zash narash kulub narghugûrz, amash-ob thrâgut krampat.

And said Jehovah: "Without a doubt people are one and they all have one language, and that is what they begin to do; therefore nothing will be possible, of what they propose to do.

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Re: Tower Of Babel

7. Skât, gâkh-Izgu zâbrat agh tîg girzat lâm-ulub, zash nargâkhut zûrbat ghashnum îmulubu."

Come, let-we descend-INF and there mess-INF language-their, so not-let-they understand-INF speech self-they-of-PL

Come, let Us descend and there mess their language, so they may not understand speech of themselves."

10

Re: Tower Of Babel

8. Agh bûsnuzul Yahuah tîg-ghâra thark-tala ghâmpûk-ob, agh puzguzut shatorat goish.

And scatter-PST-them Yahuah there-from face-over earth-all-of, and stop-PST-they build-INF city-ACC

And Jehovah scattered them from there over the face of all the earth, and they stopped to build the city.

11

Re: Tower Of Babel

9. Zash ghugshuz kulat bugud-tab Bâbil, dhurz tîg girzuz Yahuah lâm-ish ghâmpûk-ob; agh tîg-ghâra bûsnuzul Yahuah thark-tala ghâmpûk-ob.

So happen-PST be-INF name-its Bâbil, because there mess-PST Yahuah language-ACC earth-all-of; and there-from scatter-PST-them Yahuah face-over earth-all-of

So happended it's name to be Babel, because there Jehovah confused the languge of all the earth; and from there Jehovah scattered them over the face of all the earth.

12

Re: Tower Of Babel

Hey!
I really thank you for the analysis, the delight of the linguistics enthusiast. Style, grammar and so on.
I used the original Hebrew as a comparison (my Hebrew is a little rusty, but I can manage somewhat, specially with a dictionary), so I tried to follow Biblical Hebrew word order, so if you want to compare word by word on the original, you'll see... And of course it could only be possible with the -ish acc. desinence (the masterkey to "dance with the words", together with other cases desinences).
The major flaws were silly distractions... and talumtabsha was an option I thought of, but chose the other one I put there, bad option of mine it was. tongue hehehe
The trickiest was to deal with the -selves and so flectioning îm- in a way I didn't know what to do... But it seems I succeded till some point...

And actually, Yahuah is one of the possible renderings of the tetragrammaton YHWH, a quite literal one (using the consonants as mater lectionis and stuff). Similar to Yahweh, but BS don't have e, and Yahwah would go because of w, so Yahuah fits very well in BS phonotactics, as long as I know (and I myself as an amateur Hebraist/Arabist/Semiticist believe it's the proper pronunciation of The Name). And Jehovah (Yehowah) is a usage of putting the vowels of Adonai (Lord) into Y-H-V-H stem. Buuuut I was too long on it, sorry, I really love those things. tongue

Anyway, for me BS fits in these old Middle-East texts very well, because it sounds to me very Babylonical, let's say (as the Hurrian thesis says).

13

Re: Tower Of Babel

P.S., and sure, I'll send to Omniglot's Simon Ager a corrected version of that, to change there (with the proper corrected audio, of course). smile

14

Re: Tower Of Babel

I'm thinking of making a Svartiska version

15

Re: Tower Of Babel

Diego T. Guimarães wrote:

The trickiest was to deal with the -selves and so flectioning îm- in a way I didn't know what to do... But it seems I succeded till some point...

I'd never described reflexive pronouns well, but you got it right!

Diego T. Guimarães wrote:

And actually, Yahuah is one of the possible renderings of the tetragrammaton YHWH, a quite literal one (using the consonants as mater lectionis and stuff). Similar to Yahweh, but BS don't have e, and Yahwah would go because of w, so Yahuah fits very well in BS phonotactics, as long as I know (and I myself as an amateur Hebraist/Arabist/Semiticist believe it's the proper pronunciation of The Name). And Jehovah (Yehowah) is a usage of putting the vowels of Adonai (Lord) into Y-H-V-H stem. Buuuut I was too long on it, sorry, I really love those things.

I really liked your transliteration "Yahuah"!
I didn't know "Jehovah" is made this way, I just saw this variant more often in English texts. In childhood I was told that god's name is Yahweh, but I thought it's approach of Orthodox church and differences are explained by absence of vowels in written Hebrew.

Despite some mistakes, your translation was very good. Usually I'm getting more errors in shorter and easier texts.

bjornaxen wrote:

I'm thinking of making a Svartiska version

Would be nice!